IN THE FEDERAL COURT OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF REDMONT
CLERK NOTES
Presiding Officer: Justice Sumo
Bailiff: Towloo
Clerk: Unseatedduke1
Prosecution: Dr_Eksplosive (Commonwealth)
Defense: FrumpyLake (WackJap)
Bailiff Towloo called the court to order at 5:58 PM EST.
Justice Sumo: Discovery has concluded, and neither side has called witnesses or presented additional evidence.
The Commonwealth is to present their opening statement.
The Commonwealth:
Your Honor, members of the gallery, today we trail WackJap for one count of Embezzlement and Corruption. The defense has already confirmed that WackJap embezzled; they have falsely called it mere "goofs." However, proof of the law states corruption is an illegal act where a government member benefits. Withdrawing $50,000 for the reason of embezzlement is not a regular act of the job. WackJap is clearly guilty of corruption. Therefore, even if it was a joke, it fulfills all standards of corruption. The Commonwealth recommends finding WackJap guilty of all charges.
The defense is to present their opening statement.
Defense:
No opening, but we have some things to say. Wackjap, we all know him. He is one of the more well-known names on the server. With his antics, he is a character. We might say, he has made many people upset, made many laugh, and cry. The defense understands he embezzled but not in a corrupt way. The prosecution calls the behavior "irregular," but for the defendant, it's regular. Yes, he embezzled into his account, but it wasn't to gain an edge over others. He is wealthy. The defense accepts the embezzlement but rejects the corruption charges. Thank you.
The judge is moving to closing statements, allowing both sides to call witnesses and additional evidence.
The Commonwealth has called no additional witnesses or provided additional evidence.
The Defense wants a jury.
Justice Sumo: There is no jury in Redmont.
The Defense would like to call CasualGreyNight, TheSuperior, SplatCat, and everyone in the court audience.
OBJECTION FROM COMMONWEALTH: In the interest of time, we ask that you limit witnesses.
Justice Sumo: Defense is limited to three witnesses.
Defense: If it pleases the court, we would like to call Ko, CrazyWolf, and BigPappa.
Justice Sumo summoned Ko. Bailiff Towloo swore Ko in on the stand.
Defense (to Ko): Thank you. I have a quick question. Is this behavior irregular for WackJap?
Ko: No, he goofs all the time. When I saw he embezzled money, I was not surprised.
Defense: Why were you not surprised?
Ko: He's not a regular player. I am surprised he hasn't done it sooner.
Defense: What kind of goofs has he done?
Ko: He murders, bribes, and sometimes even petty theft. He likes to mess around even if the law isn’t on his side.
Defense: So, he was just messing around. Are you friends?
Ko: Yeah, I would say so.
Defense: So, you're telling me that it's possible somebody commits a crime without it necessarily being done in bad faith?
Ko: No, not at all, especially when he admits to it.
Defense rests for Ko. Justice Sumo asked the Commonwealth if they would like to cross.
Commonwealth: Mr. Ko, you served as a magistrate on the court. Would you consider embezzlement consistent with the duties of a secretary?
Ko: No, with the duties of a secretary, No.
Commonwealth: That’s all.
Judge Sumo dismissed Ko. Justice Sumo summons CrazyWolfQueen. Bailiff Towloo swears in the witness.
Defense (to CrazyWolfQueen): Thank you for your time. I just have a question for you. Would you consider the defendant, WackJap, corrupt based on the definition of corrupt?
CrazyWolfQueen: No, I would not.
Defense: Why would you say no?
CrazyWolfQueen: Because he's a guy who jokes around but isn't a bad guy.
Defense: So, messing around, as we heard from Ko, included murder and other activities. So, I would like to confirm that even though he commits crimes, it is not done in a corrupt fashion?
CrazyWolfQueen: I have not witnessed a harsh crime from Wack, no.
Justice Sumo asks Commonwealth if they wish to ask.
Commonwealth: No.
Justice dismissed witness. Justice summons BigPappa. Bailiff swears in witness.
Defense (to BigPappa): Thank you for your time. I will make this quick. Do you think, based on the law, that WackJap is a corrupt person?
BigPappa: I do not believe WackJap is corrupt.
Defense: I see. Why?
BigPappa: I believe he did it as a joke and not to steal money.
Defense: So, the defendant committed crimes to be funny?
BigPappa: Mhm.
Defense: Defense takes that as a yes.
Justice allows Commonwealth to cross.
Commonwealth: You are a police officer. Can you tell us what corruption is?
Commonwealth: Nevermind, let’s move on.
Commonwealth: Mr. BigPappa, is embezzling $50k from the government a crime?
BigPappa: I think embezzling itself is a crime.
Commonwealth: 50k from the government—do you think WackJap benefited from this?
BigPappa: He is already wealthy.
Commonwealth: 50k was taken from the government and given to him. Would you, as a person and Police Officer, see this as benefiting from the government?
BigPappa: Yes.
Commonwealth: One last question. Is being funny an excuse for crime?
BigPappa: No.
Commonwealth is done. Justice moves to closing statements. The CW has the floor.
Commonwealth: Thank you. As we have seen from witnesses Ko and BigPappa, Mr. WackJap is clearly guilty of embezzlement and corruption. The defense admitted to embezzlement, BigPappa confirmed Wack benefited, and being funny is no excuse for crime. While the defense brought character witnesses to say Wack was funny, it's no reason to escape justice. He used his position within the government to steal money. This is corruption. Even though Wack may be a funny guy, we ask that all claims for relief be granted. Thank you, Your Honor.
Justice moves to Defense.
Defense: Thank you, Your Honor. The defense agrees with the CW on one matter: being funny is not a justification for crime. We are not arguing that the defendant is exempt. He should be held accountable for his actions. As we heard from Ko, there are likely others on this server who expected this behavior from WackJap. Although that potentially puts him at an advantage, that wasn't his intention. The defendant stated in the log that the funds were used for embezzlement, proof that WackJap wasn't seeking an advantage. As BigPappa said, Wack is wealthy; he doesn't need more to gain an edge. His hard work has already provided that. Yes, he embezzled. No, being funny isn't an excuse. Yes, he should pay back the 50k, but he shouldn't pay the 25k in corruption charges. Thank you, and the defense rests.
Justice Sumo: Court is in recess pending verdict.
Verdict:
Bailiff called court back to order:
Justice Sumo: You may be seated.
Now, this is the first in-game trial in a long time, and it's only the second one I have presided over, so the significance is great. Regarding this case, I have some thoughts. I believe both sides did a great job. The CW presented a strong case, and the defense handled the witnesses well.
The facts of this case are clear: Former Secretary Wack broke the law.
Now, for the charges laid out by the CW: Corruption is defined as "The act of using a government position to act to give some advantage inconsistent with official duty and the rights of others to unfairly benefit oneself, or someone else. By applying, being appointed to, or being elected into a position in government, the player agrees to serve the server over themselves.". This is crystal clear: WackJap used his position to unfairly benefit himself by using that office to obtain 50k of taxpayer money, admitting to taking it. It is proven he served himself over others, even if it was intended to be funny. No one is above the law.
Regarding embezzlement, the defense agrees he embezzled; his intentions were not surprising, but foreseeability does not make it legal. For that, we will follow the Commonwealths request.
The court finds the defendant guilty. Wack will pay back the 50k and face 10 minutes in jail. He will be barred from holding office for 2 months, and fined 35k.
The federal court thanks all involved. This was a great case.
2024
