ITT: We act like we are all roommates

It matters not. Yobrojo, I've been waiting to ask, would you like to join my operation? I'm going into my bunker and stationing guards around the area.
 
Hello 911, I would like report criminal activity.
 
(Phone dies because coincidence XD)
 
Godamnit, good thing I have portable charger lmao. *Hides somewhere in order charge phone.*
 
I think my phone is charged now. *Proceeds call 911.*
 
Okay I enter my bunker and order my troops to ready my transports
 
Hi, hello? I'm the new roommate. *Gets shot* ugggghh *wakes up* Where am I?
 
*sees blood everywhere*
 

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I've been in a coma for 4 months, what happened?
 
Hi everyone! I just moved in next door and want to say... WHAT THE *Bleep* IS GOIN ON HERE?! Nah nah nah, I'll come back tomorrow. If you guys could kindly finish this up, I'll be back later and pretend I didn't already see this. Ok. ok. *quietly closes the door*
 
*robs da bank* Hi, I have enough money now to pay for the gas and electric bills, but can someone buy us a fridge?
 
Alright peoples I have returned. Imma just... *takes the trash bin containing 1950's body outside and burns it* Now that's a little bit better! Also, I'm not doing this because I care about your living situation, *brings in and turns on an air filtering fan* I'm doing this because I know from experience that this smell will find its way into my house.
 
Well, *enters your house*, why are you growing coke in here?
 
*Bleep* I didn't see that. Guess the people who used to live here had some problems too. You can have that if you want. As you can see by the stuff still in my car, I haven't actually entered my new home. Some random dude on the street kinda just gave me the house keys. He looked drunk and I think he had a heart attack and died after I left him. Guess the keys were the only thing keeping him alive. And I took that away. *evil laughter starts and becomes louder* Seriously though, I don't want the drugs.
 
I'll take them off of you
 
The building is on lockdown while my transports get ready
 
Me looking out the window from my house next-door: *sips tea*
 
*Bleep* Why are there people outside our door? What the Sh*t ZOMBIES? RUN IT'S THE ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE!
 
Hey Guys, I Just Moved In And Theres A Rat Under My Bed, AND I AM NOT TOUCHING IT.
 
Hang on, I have a stick to poke it with.
 
I just ate it, don't worry
 
Is that why your breath smells gross?
 
Mm, sushi 🤤
 
Hey, Its 8:00 In The Flippin Morning, AND YOU , have to play your stupid RAP, on 100%, While Im Trying To Get Sleep For An Interveiw In 6h. TURN IT OFFFF
 
leave my room I AM BUSY GAMINGGG
 
(Door to door salesman, Not me) Would you be interested in Buying Grass Blocks, I need the Money... I almost got Fired from Floormart so I have to work harder or I will get fired! Please I have a Wife and... Two Gold fish. Please My Boss isn't a nice guy, His Name is Mr Fluffy!
 
*Slams Door In Face*
*Hears scream*
*Opens Door*
*Salesman Is On The Ground Passed Out*
*Shuts Door Again*

"Thats Not My Problem"
 
How many times do I have to tell y'all to quite leaving pizza boxes right outside my damn door?! I'm sick of having to throw away someone else's trash!
IMG_1085.jpg
 
*enters room*

Takes one solid look at the state of things

Nope I'm outta here

->
 
*Sees Tech walk in for a hot second.*

Yay! The police took my noise complaint seriously!

*Sees him leave.*

Damn, do people not take noise complaints seriously around here anymore?
 
Guys whats 6049545-343746+3374349435+38443+9434-323832+2323728723623932973
 
Smh, just do your math homework instead of trying to cheat on it!
 
The answer is 2.323728727004X10^18
 
Yes I do math for fun, what are you going to do about it?
 
Nah dude, the answer is 2,323,728,727,003,712,252 (yes I did actually calculate this by hand, see the spoiler if you want to see my work), why are you feeding this guy bad information? Smh

Wait shit, I just gave the answer away!
Yes I'm aware my handwriting is shitty, don't flame me for it.
IMG_1087.jpeg
 
My answer is right, it is just in exponent form.
 
No, your answer is 287,748 more than the correct answer. That's over a quarter of a million off! I could understand if it's less than 1 off, and it's a really obscure decimal, but over a quarter of a million is a huge difference smh.
 
GUYS I NEED A ROOM FOR MY EXPLOSIVE ARSENAL! BUT THE ONLY ROOM LEFT IS SOMEBODY'S SHOE SOLE COLLECTION.
 
Woah, idk if you realize you're shouting, but we can all hear you without the need to shout. Honestly, feel free to use the sketchy looking shed in the backyard, they'll be fine there. :)
 
Thanks, You never know when you'll need those explosives. I'm an engineer by the way so just tell me if you need to build anything, upgrade any PCs or something.
 
Yeah Probably, also who ate my ice cubes? I was saving them for the cat that likes to hand around my window! :(
 
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